Toy: Fleshlight Quickshot

Designed For: Penis

Type: Open-ended sleeve with hard case

Price: ~$35

Anatomical Features: None

tl;dr:  Pretty good toy.  The cheapest way to try the Fleshlight line, but not necessarily the best.

[Content Warning:  This post contains information about using a sex toy, including personal details of its use.  There are also images of the toy and how it is used, featuring a realistic penis toy.  These images are at the end of the post and there will be another warning before that point.]


The Fleshlight Quickshot is a stroker sleeve that’s designed for penises.  It is about four inches long and three inches in diameter.  The sleeve itself is a super soft and stretchy material that does not have a scent, but that is slightly tacky and will attract hair and dust if not stored properly.  The Quickshot has a completely abstract, non-anatomical design.  There are two types to choose from:  Black case with grey sleeve insert, or clear case with clear insert.  Each one has a slightly different interior texture.  The toy is reusable and the material is high quality and with proper cleaning and normal use, it should last a long time.

The sleeve is open on both ends (both ends are identical) and is housed in a hard plastic case.  The interior of the sleeve is lined with small bumps and flaps.  At rest, the sleeve has a 0.75 inch diameter, but it will easily stretch to beyond two inches when used.  The stretching is limited by the diameter of the hard plastic case, but the sleeve can be removed and used without the case.  The toy is intended to be used with the case, as the sleeve works with the case to provide a consistent squeezing sensation that the sleeve alone would not have.  There are caps that attach to both ends of the toy, which hide and protect the sleeve inside.  It is possible to use the toy with one of the caps still on, but more on that later.  If you’re familiar with the Fleshlight, imagine if they cut out a section of the handle of that toy and you’ll have a good idea of what the Quickshot is like.

The intended use of a Fleshlight Quickshot is with a penis.  Lube is a requirement. (Water based!  Other types of lubes may damage the toy.)  Lube is placed around the opening and inside the sleeve, or on the penis, depending on personal preference.  The erect penis is inserted into the sleeve and the toy is typically used in a stroking motion, sliding it up and down along the shaft.  It can also be twisted and rotated as it is used.  Many penises will be longer than the sleeve, and the head will come out the other side when it is used.  This means that the entire penis will not be stimulated at the same time, but also allows the user to focus on one area (for instance, if stimulating the head is unpleasant, the sleeve can be used on the shaft alone, once it’s on) or vary their stimulation.  It also allows the use of a different toy or different stimulation on the area that’s not covered.

Unfortunately, the short(-ish) length and open end makes it difficult to avoid contact with fluids.  The case largely (though not entirely) will prevent lube from getting on your hands, but it can be difficult to avoid contact with other fluids, as the open end will not contain ejaculation and the head of the penis may not even be inside the toy when it happens.  I mentioned earlier that the toy could be used with the end cap still on.  That would help in this situation, however, as I mention in the personal take below, that may make the toy harder to use.

The toy is very easy to clean.  The sleeve can be popped out of the case and run under any faucet.  Water can be run directly through the sleeve.  The sleeve insert can also be turned inside out to be cleaned and dried.  Make sure you let it air dry for a while to be sure it is completely dry before enclosing it back in the case.

The case says “Fleshlight Quickshot”, and the G is the Mars Symbol (♂).  While it doesn’t scream “I’m a sex toy” from a distance (at least with the caps on), it is not very discreet, so you would probably not be able to hide it in plain sight.  (The clear case one would be even more noticeable.)

From what I’ve seen, the packaging for this toy is matter-of-fact and not pornographic or crude.  If you buy from Fleshlight directly, the toy will probably not come in any additional packaging.  It should be noted that the Fleshlight website does contain softcore nudity and suggestive images, as well as explicit images of anatomically designed toys.  Many other stores sell the Quickshot, and some of them may be more friendly, if you’d rather not see that kind of thing.

It seems like it might be difficult to use this toy hands free.  Its open end would mean that it would be messy, and its small size might make it difficult to keep in place.

As far as other uses, it does not seem like this would be a good toy for small penises or clitorises, however, I have not heard anyone indicate that they’ve tried it.  I can potentially see it being used as a sort of bumper on a penetrative toy, to prevent it from going in too deep and to provide a soft squishy bit of padding.  If anyone has further information, please let me know.

Personal Take:

Overall, I like this toy.  It’s not as good as a full sized Fleshlight, but it does work fairly well, and it’s compact enough to take on vacation. 

The material is slightly different than the regular Fleshlight inserts.  It’s a bit more “rubbery” feeling.  I think they’re trying to make their sleeves less porous, which is a good thing.  I like the original material better, but this is still really good.  It’s soft and stretchy and strong, which are three key points for me when it comes to toys.

I usually use it in a full length stroking motion, very similar to how I’d use my hand.  It seems to take longer to reach orgasm and the journey there isn’t as good as a regular Fleshlight.  The short length means it’s not stimulating my whole penis at the same time, and in particular, the head and the frenulum area get left out.  However, the orgasms themselves seem slightly stronger, possibly because I’m able to change the angle and direct pressure partway down my penis, which is not something the full-length Fleshlight allows.  I’ve also noticed that it seems to squeeze around the coronal ridge on the upstroke (a good thing), which is something I typically only get from my hand because other toys don’t do it.  Although it can be twisted or rotated, I rarely do that.

I have tried placing it all the way down at the base of the shaft and leaving it there while I stimulate the head in a different way.  I didn’t really like it.  The two competing sensations felt awkward and disjointed.  I tried using both the clear and the black one at the same time, and it felt the same way.

I’ve noticed that it has a sort of cock ring effect, meaning that when it’s at the base of the shaft, it will make the erection firmer.  It’s far more comfortable than a typical ring.

I think this effect makes the orgasms a bit more, um, forgive the term, squirty, than with other toys.  I think it constricts and places more pressure on the urethra than other toys do, and it’s a more consistent pressure than my hand.  That does tend to make it feel better, but also makes it considerably more messy.

The mess can be a problem.  I don’t mind my own personal fluids, but I don’t always want to have to deal with them.  With closed-ended toys, it’s all contained within the toy, so I just take it off, take it to the sink, and it’s all done.  But because this toy is open ended, I have to deal with cleaning that up.  It would be possible to finish inside the sleeve and try to have it contained there, but that doesn’t feel as good and it’s still no guarantee that nothing won’t get out.

In the other section, I mentioned using it with the cap still on one end.  I’ve found it mostly unusable like that.  The sleeve doesn’t have anywhere to stretch to with the cap on, so it won’t expand enough for me to pass through.  I end up sort of getting stopped.  It’s a rather jarring and unpleasant feeling.  It doesn’t feel like I’m hitting the plastic at the end, it just feels like the sleeve won’t let me go any further.    As a result, the insertion depth is too shallow.  It can stimulate the head, but it doesn’t feel like it does enough there.

I’ve tried using the clear one, but I don’t particularly get anything special out of it.  There isn’t that much to see.  It might be more exciting for other people or for anyone watching (This is partially marketed as a couples’ toy, too), but it doesn’t do anything for me.

One of the major downsides of the Quickshot is that because the head of the penis will stick out of the toy, the lube is susceptible to drying out and can cause the toy to get sticky.  A little bit of this is an interesting sensation, as the skin is gently pulled in different ways, but a lot of this is just painful.  With a normal Fleshlight, I rarely have to reapply lube, but with this one, I have to do it frequently.

I realize I’m constantly comparing it to a full Fleshlight, and that’s doing this toy a disservice.  This toy is far better than most of the stuff that’s out on the market.  I’d put it roughly at the same level as a Tenga 3D sleeve, which I really like and hardly ever compare to a Fleshlight.  It’s also a huge improvement over just using my hand.

I’ve found it’s a good shower toy.  The case means it can be left there and not get wet and it won’t slide or roll around when not in use.  The messiness mentioned above isn’t a factor when it all just washes away.  It’s lighter than a regular Fleshlight, so it’s more comfortable to hold and use while standing.  And when water based lube starts to get sticky, it can be reactivated with a few drops of water, and in the shower, water’s readily available.

Bottom Line:

Pros: Stretchy, soft, strong material, great for stroking, easy to clean, non-anatomical design, has storage case.

Cons: Not discreet, not very small, can get messy, lube tends to dry out.

[Content warning:  There are pictures of the toy below this point, which include examples of its use on a realistic dildo.  There is no additional review text beyond this point, only captions.]


This image is a photo of the QuickShot in its case, with a 12oz soda can for comparison. No nudity or anatomical toys are shown.

This image is a photo of multiple QuickShots next to a ruler for a size reference. No nudity or anatomical toys are shown.

This image is a photo of the entry of a QuickShot. No nudity or anatomical toys are shown.

This image is a close-up of the interior of a QuickShot, showing its texture. No nudity or anatomical toys are shown.

This image is a photo of the QuickShot sleeve removed from its case. No nudity or anatomical toys are shown.

This image is a photo of the QuickShot being placed on the shaft of a purple penis-shaped dildo, with the head exposed. No actual nudity is shown.

[Additional Content Warning: Videos beyond this point, including simulated use of the toy on a dildo.]

This video shows the interior sleeve of the QuickShot being stretched by hand. No nudity or anatomical toys are shown.

This video shows lubricant being applied to the outer rim of the QuickShot. No nudity or anatomical toys are shown.

This video shows the QuickShot being used in a stroking motion on a purple penis-shaped dildo. No actual nudity is shown.


Toy: Tenga Spinner

Designed For: Penis

Type: Close-ended sleeve

Price: ~$25-30

Anatomical Features: None

tl;dr:  Decent sleeve toy, but I’m concerned about long term reliability.

[Content Warning:  This post contains information about using a sex toy, including personal details of its use.  There are also images of the toy and how it is used, featuring a realistic penis toy.  These images are at the end of the post and there will be another warning before that point.]


The Tenga Spinner is a closed-ended stroker sleeve that’s designed for penises.  It’s about 5.5 inches long and 2 inches wide.  The sleeve itself is a super soft and stretchy material that does not have a scent, but that is slightly tacky and will attract hair and dust if not stored properly in the included storage case.  The Spinner has a completely abstract, non-anatomical design.  There are three types to choose from, but all of them have a similar interior, featuring discrete bumps  The size and shape of these bumps is the main difference between the three models.

The intended use of a Tenga Spinner is with a penis.  Lube is a requirement. (Water based!  Other types of lubes may damage the toy.)  Lube is placed around the opening and inside the sleeve, or on the penis, depending on personal preference.  The erect penis is inserted into the sleeve and the toy is typically used in a stroking motion, sliding it up and down along the shaft.

The sleeve is closed on one end.  This means that the toy will fully contain any fluids produced during its use.  This means you won’t make a mess when you use it, but it also means that the toy itself can be difficult to clean and get fully dry.  The case comes with a drying stand (which doesn’t work all that well, more on that later).

The distinguishing feature of this toy is the pair of plastic coils embedded in the sleeve material. They spiral around the circumference of the toy.  As you stroke, the coils expand and twist, pulling the sleeve along with them.  This gives the toy a slight spinning sensation in addition to the typical up and down stroking movement.  These coils also provide some pressure that the toy material itself would not.

The sleeve has a diameter of about an inch at rest, but can easily stretch to two inches or more when in use.  The 5.5 inch length will also stretch, so if your penis is longer than the toy, the last inch or two won’t feel left out.  The plastic coil will limit the stretchability, but I’m not sure how far it can be stretched before that becomes a problem, because I don’t want to damage my toy.

The material is translucent, but not clear.  It’s too foggy for a clear view of the penis, although the general shape can be made out.  I think it’s more likely that this toy is only see-through to show off the coils and their twisting action.  Clear toys tend to get foggy after a few uses anyway, so this isn’t a big deal.

It’s possible to mostly avoid contact with fluids while using this toy.  If you’re careful, your hand probably won’t get covered in lube, although some will start to gather around the open end of the toy.  Also, because it has a fully closed end, ejaculation will be caught by the toy.  It’s much less messy than using a Tenga Egg, but not as clean as using a Fleshlight.

With the toy in the case, it sort of looks like a quirky little sculpture or a small lava lamp or an energy drink container or something.  It doesn’t really give off a “sex toy” vibe.  The case does say “Tenga: New Adult Concept”, though, so anyone examining it closely would see that and be a quick Internet search away from discovering what it is.  As you can see in the photos below, the packaging for the toy is not explicit or crude.  It is very matter-of-fact about what it’s used for, and does not try to indicate that it simulates and kind of sex act or should be used with a partner or anything like that.

It does not seem like this would be a good toy for a small penis or a clitoris.  The internal diameter is around an inch, and the coils make it difficult to squeeze it any smaller than that.  It also seems like the toy should not be used vaginally, as the toy is made of a potentially porous material that should not be used internally.  And it definitely should not be used anally, as there is no flaring to prevent the toy from being stuck.

Personal Take:

It’s similar in size and shape to the Tenga 3D line (in fact, I think the case uses the same mold as one of the 3D sleeves), which is nice.  It’s big enough that my entire penis can fit inside and small enough that I can toss it in a drawer or take it on vacation.  It’s also soft and stretchy and doesn’t smell bad, which are some of the most important features in a toy like this.

It has better suction than most closed toys.  The air tends to get squeezed out as I enter, and there isn’t much fussing around to prevent ballooning.  The suction doesn’t prevent movement, like it can in some other toys.

The spiral plastic coils provide just the right amount of pressure.  I can feel it, and there’s definitely more pressure than there is in most similar sleeves, but it’s working for me, not trying to cut off circulation or push me out.  (In fact, if I let go, it stays put, unlike most toys, which will slowly squeeze themselves off the end.)  The coil pressure also squeezes the sleeve closed against the head, so the entire head gets some stimulation.  The coil is embedded deep enough in the material that I can’t feel the individual ribs, only the consistent pressure from all of them.  All-in-all, there’s a pleasant sensation of being enveloped by the toy.

It’s this pressure that’s most apparent for me, and not the spinning action.  I barely feel the spinning, actually.  The coil unspools and twists as the material of the sleeve expands, but it’s doing most of this just in front of the head of the penis.  But by time the head gets there, the coil has already done about 90% of the twisting motion, so there’s very little left for the head to experience, and even less for the shaft.  If you want spinning all the way down, you’ll have to provide that yourself.

One marketing video shows the toy being gripped from the closed end and the toy spinning the whole way down the shaft.  I’m sure that’s all well and nice for the rigid glass rods used in that commercial, but my penis doesn’t work that way and doesn’t really like having pressure applied in that way so it started to bend out of the way (never a good thing), and the toy just sort of squashed itself instead of sliding down.  Instead, I’ll grip it near the bottom and stroke with my hand on the shaft and let the toy take care of the head by itself.  Usually with sleeves like this, I’ll have to provide pressure to the head with my hand, but here the coil takes care of that.  I can also grip in the middle and get a little bit of twist on the lower shaft, but it’s really not that effective.

The coil is the biggest distinguishing feature and the biggest benefit to this toy, but it’s also my biggest worry.  It seems like the plastic of the coil might break or that it might tear away from the sleeve material itself over time.  The toy isn’t so expensive that it would be a total rip-off if that happened down the line (I’m at a pretty good Dollars Per Orgasm rate with this toy so far…), but I don’t like things that fall apart, and this feels like something at risk of falling apart.  I’m especially concerned about the possibility of the coil snapping and leaving a sharp edge, because sharp edges suddenly appearing on something that’s sliding on my penis is not my idea of a good time.

I like the case that it comes in.  It’s a huge step up from the Tenga 3D cases, which were large and didn’t lock together.  This case isn’t much larger than the toy (so it’s portable and storable), and the pieces of the case lock together, so you can store it horizontally in a drawer without it coming apart.

A little bit of lube goes a long way in this toy.  The closed end helps with that.  I haven’t needed to stop and top it off, like some other toys require.

The material has a bit of a “grip” to it.  A lot of toys either stick or slide as I stroke, depending on how much lube is present.  But the Spinner gently pulls and sort of rolls along the skin.  It might be that as the coil contracts, the material relaxes and sort of grabs at the skin of the penis.  Whatever it is, I don’t think I’ve felt this kind of sensation before, but it’s rather enjoyable.

This “grip” and the previously mentioned suction act as a sort of speed limit for how fast I can stroke with it.  If I try going too fast, there’s too much resistance and too much pulling and it becomes uncomfortable.  That’s fine by me, going too fast tends to be overwhelming and unpleasant for me, anyway.  The toy seems to encourage edging, with a slow build to a strong orgasm.

Unfortunately, the “grip” of the material also can be felt on the outside of the sleeve, as well.  It’s not sticky exactly, but there’s a definite tacky feel to it.  When I take my hand away, this tackiness makes it feel like there’s something on my hand, even when the hand is perfectly clean and dry.  It’s nothing like the icky-stickiness of the Fleshskins Grip thing, but it’s certainly disconcerting.

I’ve also noticed that the toy warms up quickly, but in addition to that, it seems to transmit some of that warmth back.  Most toys just stop being cold, but this seems to actively be slightly warm.  I don’t know if that’s imagination or some sort of friction heating from the coil or what.

The place where this toy falls flat is in the cleanup.  The Tenga 3D line has some of the easiest cleanup in the world of penis toys.  When you’re done, invert it, wash it off, towel off the excess water, then place it on the pole included in the storage case to dry.  The texture is meant to be stored on the outside, so the whole thing is exposed to air and will dry out.  Not so with the Spinner.  It’s simple enough to run it under the faucet and clean it out.  Unfortunately, the coil means that you can’t invert it, so you can’t towel it off and you can’t let it air dry.  The coil also prevents squeezing out any of the moisture.  The case does have a stand with vent holes that’s supposed to be used to allow the toy to dry, but without airflow, the inside will never get fully dry.  That’s bad news.  That might make the toy unusable long before the coil has a problem.  It’s not the worst I’ve encountered, but there are definitely toys that are easier to dry than this one.

Bottom Line:

Pros: Stretchy, soft, strong material, great for stroking, non-anatomical design, has storage case.

Cons: Difficult to dry, concerns about longevity.

[Content warning:  There are pictures of the toy below this point, which include examples of its use on a realistic dildo.  There is no additional review text beyond this point, only captions.]


This image is a photo of the toy, its storage case, and a 12 oz. soda can for size comparison. No nudity or anatomical toys are shown.

This image is a photo showing the interior texture of the toy. No nudity or anatomical toys are shown.

[Additional Content Warning: Video beyond this point, including simulated use of the toy on a dildo.]

This video shows the toy being used in a stroking motion on a purple penis-shaped dildo. No actual nudity is shown.

The “spinning” motion of the sleeve can be seen.


Toy: Tenga Egg

Designed For: Penis

May Be Usable With: Clitoris

Type: Close-ended Sleeve

Price: ~$8 for 1, ~$30 for 6

Anatomical Features: None

Other Notes:  Some trans men report that this toy works well for them.  Other people report that this toy can be placed on the head of a wand vibrator.

tl;dr:  Good introductory toy, cheap price, good quality, easy to clean and versatile.

[Content Warning:  This post contains information about using a sex toy, including personal details of its use.  There are also images of the toy and how it is used, featuring a realistic penis toy.  These images are at the end of the post and there will be another warning before that point.]


The Tenga Egg is a stroker sleeve that’s designed for penises.  It’s about the size of a plastic easter egg (in fact, it comes in one that doubles as a storage case).  It’s made out of a soft, thin, stretchy material that does not have a scent.  The egg has a completely abstract, non-anatomical design.  The outside is smooth, while the inside has a texture of bumps and ridges.  Eggs come in a variety of textures, and the label usually has a design that indicates what the texture is like.  The size makes it a practical travel toy.

The intended use of a Tenga Egg is with a penis.  A few drops of lube are placed inside the egg (a packet of lube is provided with the purchase), and the egg is placed on the head of the penis.  Air is squeezed out to create suction.  Then the user strokes the penis, stretching the egg along the shaft.  The material will stretch to fit almost any size penis.  The egg can also be used in a twisting motion just on the head.  The thin, caseless design allows pressure from the hand to be felt on the penis.

Some trans men and people with large clitorises have successfully used the Tenga Egg.  They say that the size, squishiness, and immediate texture work for them.  However, some who have tried it have said that the sleeve is too wide to be useful.  The sleeve can also be turned inside out and used on the head of a wand style vibrator.  This adds a texture to the vibrator.  It also can dampen the vibration strength somewhat.  (The sleeve probably would not stay on a dildo, unless it is more firmly attached in some way.)

The eggs are sold as “single-use”, but it is possible to clean and reuse them, just be sure to dry them well.  The material is not super-strong, however, and it will start to stretch and deform.  It may eventually tear open, but depending on the type of tear, the toy may remain usable in some form.

This is probably not a good toy for anyone wishing to avoid direct genital contact or direct contact with fluids.  Using this toy will often result in your hand coming in direct contact with the penis, which will result in lubricant getting on your hand.  It will, however, do a good job of containing an ejaculation, as it has a closed end.  It is also difficult, if not impossible, to use this toy in a hands-free manner.

Personal Take:

I want to like the Tenga Egg more than I do.  I feel weird recommending a product that I’m not a huge fan of.  There’s nothing really wrong with a Tenga Egg, it’s just that I have better options.  Still, I wish that they were around when I started buying toys, because they would have been a far better entry-level option than the absolute junk I dealt with.  I definitely do not regret the purchase.

Stroking with the egg doesn’t do enough for me.  I think this is because the head just gets a slight stretching motion and downward pressure, while the main stimulation takes place down the shaft.  I tend to use it with a sort of twisting stroke motion, where I rotate the egg back and forth while stroking.  That gives the head more stimulation (sometimes too much, in fact) and works better for me.

I do like its softness and stretchiness.  I’ve used many toys that are too hard or too tight, and it feels like they don’t want to be used.  Maybe they’ll take too much pressure to enter, or the texture will be too stiff and grate on the shaft, and in some cases, the toys are so tight that they’ll squeeze themselves right off the end of the penis if I let go.  But with a Tenga Egg, I put myself in and stay in.  There’s little entry resistance.  And the textures provide stimulation, not irritation.  They seem softer than a Fleshlight, but a large part of that may just be the thinness of the material.  And it stretches to fit me without feeling like it’s cutting off circulation or about the squeeze itself off the end and go flying across the room.

One of my biggest issues with the egg is its size.  It’s considerably smaller than  my hand, so I can’t really get a good grip on it.  If I try the standard wrap-around grip, I inevitably end up with half my hand on the toy and half on bare skin, which ruins the sensation for me.  (I prefer all toy or all direct skin contact, mixing the two just feels strange.)  Then, on the upstroke, I almost take the toy completely off.  After that, since there’s lubricant involved, the half of the hand that was in contact with skin is now slippery itself, and starts to transfer to lubricant to the outside of the egg, making it entirely impossible to grip.  The twist-stroke method avoids this, as instead of using a wrap-around grip, I grip the toy from above with a back-handed grip that makes the twisting easier.  With this grip, my palm comes down along the head rather than sliding along the shaft, and my fingers stay firmly planted on the toy.

I have never had a Tenga Egg break, but I have probably never used the same egg more than a half dozen times.  I have had them start to stretch and deform, but this hasn’t affected their use.  When stretched all the way, the material becomes thin enough to be transparent, so I can definitely see how rough handling or too much use can wear it out.

Bottom Line:

Pros:  Cheap, stretchy, soft, easy to clean, lots of variety, non-anatomical design, doesn’t smell like chemical waste, comes with storage.

Cons: Can be messy, doesn’t stroke well, material does not seem super durable.

[Content warning:  There are pictures of the toy below this point, which include examples of its use on a realistic dildo.  There is no additional review text beyond this point, only captions.]


This image shows a size comparison between a Tenga Egg and a tennis ball. No nudity or anatomical toys are shown.

This image shows a Tenga Egg removed from its plastic Easter egg style container. No nudity or anatomical toys are shown.

This image shows a close-up of the entry hole of a Tenga Egg. No nudity or anatomical toys are shown.

This image shows an inside-out Tenga Egg so the internal texture is visible. No nudity or anatomical toys are shown.

Each Tenga Egg has an different texture, noted on the label. This one has a simple grid shaped texture.

This image shows a Tenga Egg next to a 5-inch purple penis-shaped dildo for scale. No actual nudity is shown.

This image shows a Tenga Egg placed on the head of a purple penis-shaped dildo to illustrate its use. No actual nudity is shown.

This image shows a Tenga Egg inverted and placed on the head of a wand style vibrator to illustrate its use. No nudity or anatomical toys are shown.

[Additional Content Warning: Videos beyond this point, including simulated use of the toy on a dildo.]

This video shows lube being placed inside a Tenga Egg and the egg being squeezed and rubbed to distributed the lube around the inside. No nudity or anatomical toys are shown.

This video shows a Tenga Egg being placed on the head of a purple penis-shaped dildo. No actual nudity is shown.

The swirling at the start helps apply lube around the head so that it can be inserted into the toy easier.

This video shows a Tenga Egg being used in a stroking motion on a purple penis-shaped dildo. No actual nudity is shown.

You can see how thinly stretched the material becomes, yet it does not break.

This video shows a Tenga Egg being used in a twisting motion on a purple penis-shaped dildo. No actual nudity is shown.

This is an alternate way to use this toy which provides different stimulation than stroking alone.

  • Asexual people can masturbate, if they want to.
  • Asexual people can use sex toys, if they want to.
  • Using an anatomical toy does not mean you’re secretly interested in that anatomy and does not invalidate asexuality.
  • There are toys of all types that are abstract/non-anatomical in design.
  • There are many toys for vulvas which do not require penetration.
  • There are a few toys for penises which do not require insertion.
  • There are many toys that can be used in a way where you do not have to touch your genitals directly.
  • There are many toys which can be used in a way where you do not have to come into contact with any fluids.
  • There are sex toy shops which focus on the toys and won’t fill your browser with sexual imagery.
  • If a toy looks cheap and sleazy, it probably is, so avoid it.
  • If any of the reviews mention a smell, avoid it.
  • Avoid jelly toys, as they disintegrate or melt and may be made with toxic chemicals.
  • Some stores make a point of not selling junk toys.
  • Most toy stores ship in plain boxes with an innocuous sounding company on the return address.
  • More expensive doesn’t necessarily mean better, but cheap almost always means worse.

And finally:

  • Use lube.
  • Do it online.  They’ll be shipped in a plain brown box, and you don’t have to deal with a human at the checkout stand. Dedicated sex toy shops will have the widest selections, but other more general shops will have them, although they might be hidden under a “Sexual Wellness” type section that isn’t searched by default.  Amazon has a huge selection, but be wary: It’s rife with counterfeits and sometimes has used toys or returns.  If you’re interested in a specific toy or brand, many brands have a dedicated store, which is often your best bet.
  • Prepare to see things you might not want to see.  Sex toy shops, even the “sexual wellness” section of a regular website, are not the most asexual friendly places around.  You’ll almost certainly see someone in lingerie, you may even see topless women.  Feminist toy stores (like Babeland) tend to have less of this.  (Although, unfortunately, they tend to have a more limited selection and higher price on toys for a penis, if that’s what you’re after.)  But even if there isn’t a photo of an actual person, you’ll likely have to wade through a river of anatomical replica toys to find what you want.
  • Stay clear of junk.  If it sounds like junk, it probably is.  Avoid offensive names, avoid misogynistic packaging, and, for the most part, avoid a toy that has a trademarked name for the material it’s made of.  Don’t buy “CyberSkin”, “UR3″, or jelly, as that’s code for “smelly and toxic”.  If it promises the realistic sensation of some act or another, but it doesn’t show you the texture inside, it’s probably no good.
  • The photo is probably lying to you.  A lot of toys are smaller than their picture makes them out to be.  Price is not an indicator of size.
  • Price is not an indicator of quality.  I’ve paid six bucks for a sleeve that works well and held up for a number of uses, and I’ve paid $150 for a fancy vibrating thingy that didn’t work right straight out of the box.
  • Read reviews.  But not just any reviews.  Reviews for penis toys are full of five star reviews that say “I came soooo haaaaard!!!!1”  Look for longer, more technical reviews.  In particular, pay attention to people who say something has a smell or rips easily, and stay away from those toys. And be wary about dedicated sex toy review sites. Some of them are set up directly by the manufacturer and others are paid reviewers.
  • It’s okay to have a sex toy, even if you’re asexual!  Using a toy doesn’t cancel out your asexuality.  Even if that toy is an exact anatomical replica.

[Content warning:  Discussion of sex toys, as well as photos of related items.]

This post has a general description of what a butt plug is and how it is used.  The post contains images of plugs, but not in a sexual setting.

Butt plugs are, as the name implies, meant to be used anally.  They are typically designed to be inserted and left in while other activities take place.  This means most of them have a wide section, a narrow neck, and a wide base.  This shape helps them stay in place.  They are often a sensation enhancer, rather than something that produces an orgasm itself.  Some plugs are straight, while others are curved, for prostate stimulation.  Some vibrate, but many do not. 

Plugs come in various sizes, so start small and work your way up as you understand your comfort range.  Do not use a comfortable vaginal toy as a guide for how big of a plug you should use.

Butt plugs (and anything else used anally) should always have a wide base of some kind, otherwise you may find yourself having an uncomfortable and embarrassing conversation with your friendly local ER staff.

I’m not really going to go too far into hygiene practices here, but think about where they’re used, and you should see why you’re going to want to clean them well.  You can put a condom over them, but you still need to clean them when you’re done.  If you have a vagina, do not ever use a toy vaginally that has been used anally without a thorough cleaning in between.  You’ll probably want to have a towel or a tissue or something like that handy when you take it out.  They are not going to come out in pristine condition.

Only use plugs that are made of a non-porous material, like silicone, metal, glass, or hard plastic.  Rubber or jelly or other materials can be difficult to clean and may be holding on to pockets of bacteria and general nastiness even when they look clean.  If you’re using a plug made from a porous material, use a condom on it.

You need to use lube when using a butt plug.  It probably won’t go in otherwise.  Inadequate lube can cause irritation.  Thicker lubes are generally recommended.

For people with a penis, plugs can be used to stimulate the prostate.  Many people who have them find that prostate stimulation can be extremely pleasurable, but this pleasure is offset by how difficult it is to access.  Some plugs have a curve or slight hook shape that is designed to press against the prostate and provide stimulation.

Here are a few images of just a sample of the wide variety of plugs that are out there:

This image is a photograph of a plain butt plug. It does not have an anatomical design. No nudity is shown.

This is a generic plug.  The flared base prevents it from accidentally being inserted all the way, where it can get stuck.  The narrow neck will help hold it I’m place.  This is made out of flexible silicone.

This image is a photograph of a curved butt plug. It does not have an anatomical design. No nudity is shown.

This is an Aneros, designed for prostate stimulation.  The curve will press against the prostate.  The narrow neck will hold it in place.  The round tab is meant to press a sensitive area just behind the testicles.  The handle is there to make removal easier.

This is a brief rundown of some of the other types of toys that are out there.

Handheld Shower Head:  A handheld shower head with various massage options can be used to masturbate.  The spray can be directed against the vulva or clitoris.  They can also be used on the penis and testicles, but they are often less effective.  Handheld shower heads are a popular masturbation device because they are completely discreet and will immediately wash away any fluids produced.  (If you don’t have a handheld shower attachment, the water from a bathtub faucet can be used in much the same way, although in a much more limited position.) And even if you don’t use them to masturbate, they’re a useful upgrade to your shower, because you’ll no longer have to twist and contort to get the shower spray to rinse off that impossible spot on the back side of your knee.

Pillows:  A bunched up pillow can be grinded against for clitoral stimulation.  If you have a penis, a condom or plastic bag with a little bit of lube can be placed between pillows and thrusted into.  Place a towel over the pillow before use for easier cleanup.  Pillows are also a completely discreet option. (As long as you avoid wet spots…)

Cock Rings:  Cock rings are placed on the penis or around the testicles to aid with an erection and alter the sensations.  Some have vibrators attached.  Many times they come in packs of multiple sizes, so you can use the size that works best.  You want something that is roughly the diameter of the erect penis.  Too big and it will come right off, too small and it can start to hurt and you’ll end up with one of those four hour erections that you’re supposed to call a doctor about. Sometimes, the rings can be large enough to fit around both the penis and the testicles. Be careful with rings or you might end up with a trip to the ER having a metal ring buzzsawed off a part of your body that should never be near a buzzsaw.

Pumps:  Suction devices meant to draw blood into various areas to make it swell up and become larger or more sensitive.

Dolls:  Generally human-ish replicas used for intercourse simulation or carpool lane fraud.  Can be inflatable (like a beach ball), plush (like a stuffed toy), or metal and rubber (like a robot who’ll kill us all).

Partial Anatomy Replicas:  More than a sleeve/dildo, but less than a doll, these replicate parts of human anatomy.  Usually it’s just a section of the pelvis, with a labia and a vaginal hole, but others exist with a penis and testicles.  Butt (usually with an anal hole) and breast replicas also exist, as do full torso models.

Sex Machines:  These take many (large, noisy) forms, from a vibrating saddle with a dildo on the seat, to a reciprocating actuator with a dildo or sleeve on the end, to an alternating suction device.  On the smaller end, there are also some automatic strokers that might fit in this category.

Balls and Beads:  Sometimes sold for vaginal exercise (strengthen those Kegel muscles!), these are roughly ping-pong sized balls.  If they have a string, they can potentially be used anally (although put a condom on them if you do that, because strings are not easy to clean)  Beads are smaller variants on the balls, and are typically specifically for anal use.

[Content warning:  Discussion of sex toys and their use, particularly penis toys.]

Yes, I have sex toys.  I have a number of them.  I have various shapes, sizes, and intended uses.  I have some that I use often, some that I use occasionally, toys that I come back to every couple of months because “Maybe this time it’ll work better”, and some that I tried only once because I didn’t like them.

Probably the first toy I ever experimented with was a cardboard tube.  It was a hole, it was about the right size, so maybe…?  Spoiler alert, it didn’t work.  The first experiment that was successful was when I put a small amount of cooking oil into a small plastic Ziploc bag, then put that in between some pillows on my bed, so I could thrust into it.  That worked.  Over the next couple of years, I upgraded and tuned that design.  (Most notably, by cutting off the zip-locking part (because ouch), by placing it inside a folded pair of socks for some added pressure.  I also switched to hand lotion, baby oil, or KY Jelly instead of cooking oil, because cooking oil just never comes off.)

Soon after I moved out and got my own place, I had the freedom and the privacy to start looking at buying an actual toy.  But were there any?  I knew about vibrators, but was there anything for my equipment?  I didn’t know what was out there, I didn’t have much money, and I didn’t know where to start.  I was completely nervous about my first purchase.  I think I bought three things:  A vibrator (because maybe that might work?), an “oral sex simulator” contraption with a tube and a pump (because oral sex is supposed to be good?), and some pink jelly sleeve thing that had an offensive name that I can’t recall that vaguely resembled a vulva if the designer had never seen one but only heard the legends (because maybe it’ll feel like The Real Thing™?).

All three of those turned out to be a waste of money.  The vibrator was, well, a vibrator.  I’m sure it might have been a decent buy for someone with a vagina or a clitoris, but having neither, it wasn’t much use for me.  The “oral sex” thing was just bizarre.  I never did figure out how to use it.  The pump bulb was made of hard rubber, so it was difficult to squeeze, and I think all it did was give me hand cramps.  The sleeve thing was too tight, too short, and way too smooth.  I’d go in one end, come right out the other, and feel nothing in between.

Still, I was curious.  I’d bought some toys and didn’t have the FBI knocking down my door, looking for contraband, and my credit card company didn’t cancel my account for being a pervert, so all in all, things went fairly well.  So, I bought a few more things.  A couple of stroker sleeves that were far better than the first, but still not that great.  A “realistic vagina” that turned out to be a vulva façade with a two and a half inch wide, six inch long floppy tunnel lined with centimeter long tickly bits behind it.  I was starting to think that there weren’t any good toys for people like me.

But then, I found it.  It was far more expensive than all of the other toys I’d bought.  It was big.  It has great reviews, but then so did that weird jelly tube thing.  Okay, I’m going for it.  I’m probably going to regret it, like all the rest, but I might as well try.

It was a pink Fleshlight, with the generic-looking entry and a smooth canal.  It came in a big grey plastic case.  There was a weird cap on the end.  It was kind of complicated.

And it worked.

It was soft and stretchy and didn’t melt and I could fit inside and it wasn’t made of hard plastic and I could actually feel it.  And I liked how it felt.  I quickly went and bought a set of additional sleeves with different textures, and they were even better.

Finally, a toy that didn’t suck!

(Well, technically, that weird cap on the end adjusted airflow, so if you set it just right, it did kinda suck, but in a good way.)

As a sign of the quality of the Fleshlight, I still have that original set that I bought, and they’re still in usable condition.  Even the sleeves I have that have torn, only tore a little bit, then stopped.  (One was a poorly designed orifice that couldn’t stretch right, so I think it tore for everyone, and the other was the “ultra tight” model, which was too small for me.)  If you take good care of a Fleshlight, it will last a long time and be well worth the investment.

(By the way, my favorite is the speed bump, with the STU and Wonder Wave close behind.  I think those textures are all available in a generic, non-anatomical model, if you’d rather not buy a fake body part looking thing.)

[Content warning:  Discussion of sex toys, particularly those for a penis.  Also a mention of objectionable marketing practices.]

I have a penis.  The vast majority of toys out there for a penis are utter garbage.

  • I’ve had toys that provide no stimulation at all.
  • I’ve had toys made out of material that’s so stiff that it felt like plastic being scraped along my penis.
  • I’ve had toys that sort of melted and deformed.
  • I’ve had toys that have torn apart.
  • I’ve had toys that have smelled so bad out of the plastic wrap that I tossed them before even using them.
  • I’ve had “high end” toys that have stopped working during the first use.
  • I’ve had a toy that has a clear design flaw that will lead to serious injury if used enough.

Many toys for people with a penis are sold in ways that range from mildly suggestive, to pornographic, to raunchy, to downright misogynistic and disgusting.  (And don’t even get me started on how deceptive the photos can be about toy size…)  This is an especially uncomfortable place for an asexual person to explore.  It’s getting easier to find toys that don’t fall into that category, but to get there, you still have to wade through a pile of junk like the “Bangin’ Betty Stroker” or the anatomically bizarre pair of breasts with a vagina attached.

Seriously, those are things that exist, and…  Eugh.  I can’t imagine that sort of thing being remotely appealing even if I weren’t asexual.  I mean, I can see how some people might find an object that resembles a piece of anatomy somewhat appealing and arousing, if they’re a fan of that piece of anatomy.  So sure, sell the disembodied dicks and rubber vulvas and breasts in a box.   But it seems like pure vulgarity would have be off-putting even to someone who isn’t ace.
(Incidentally, in my experience, the further a toy is in the realm of the disgusting or offensive, the worse it tends to be as an actual toy.  They can’t sell it on its merits, so they sell it on shock value and sleaze instead.)

Another problem I’ve had with toys is that many of them are too small for me.  They either don’t stretch enough, or are housed in a rigid case and can’t expand, or they’re not long enough.  For the most part, these seem like decent quality toys, I just don’t fit.  Vaginal toys (And, to some extent, anal toys) tend to be very clear about their dimensions, and many are available in different sizes.  But many penis toys assume that everyone has a penis that is exactly 5.17 inches long and 1.5 inches across.  If you’re bigger, too bad, it won’t stretch much (so it’ll be uncomfortable or rip open, if you can get inside at all) and you’ll pop out the other end, and if you’re smaller, too bad, you won’t be able to feel anything.  They need to start selling toys for different sized penises (Which, I suppose, would also involve men feeling safe to admit that they don’t actually have a two-foot-long mega boner in their pants, otherwise those different sizes will have to be “Huge”, “XXL”, and “Jumbo”).

The biggest problem with the sex toy industry is the sex toy industry.  I believe they can gain wider acceptance if they drop the sleaze and start making better products overall.  And they’re moving that way, especially when it comes to vibrators, but penis toys still have a long way to go and a lot of image rehabilitation ahead before you’ll find them on the shelves at Walmart.

Lube is generally not considered a sex toy by itself, but using it can make it easier to use other toys (as well as make it easier to masturbate without a toy).  Lube is anything that makes something slippery.  There are a wide variety of lubes available.  They are made in a number of different consistencies (from lightest to thickest), including liquids, gels, jellys, and creams.  Lubes are also made from different substances, all of which have different properties and different pros and cons.

If you’re unsure about how much lube to use, use less than you think.  Lube’s sort of like hot sauce in that way.  If there’s too little lube, you can easily add more, but if you put on too much, you end up with an unpleasant mess.  Too much lube can actually take away some sensations, because a little bit of friction can be a vital part of some forms of stimulation.

Types of Lubes:

Water Based lubes are compatible with condoms and most toys and safe for vaginal use, but tend to dry out or become sticky faster than other lubes.  If they dry out, a little bit of water or saliva will rejuvenate them.  Water based lubes are typically easy to find in the sexual wellness section of any drugstore or supermarket. (Where the condoms and yeast infection treatments are.)

Silicone lubes are compatible with condoms and safe for vaginal use, but will damage toys made from certain materials and can be harder to clean up.  Silicone lubes tend to work better in water than water-based lubes (which will just wash away). There may be a silicone lube available in the sexual wellness section of a drugstore or supermarket, but they are often more expensive than water based lubes.

Oil Based lubes are NOT compatible with condoms and many of them are not safe for vaginal use.  They can be used externally, such as for body massages or on the penis. Oil-based lubes tend to work better in water than water-based lubes (which will just wash away).  They can also be harder to clean up.  Oil based lubes are generally not available in the sexual wellness section, as they’ll destroy condoms.  Instead, look for hand lotion, cooking oil, Vaseline, mineral oil, or massage oils elsewhere in the store.

Saliva is a somewhat decent lube, if you can get past the “ick” factor.  It’s free and it’s safe for use with toys.

Natural Lubrication often occurs when a person becomes aroused.  This is why getting aroused is sometimes called “getting wet”.  The vagina often produces natural lubrication, which can potentially be enough for use with a toy.  The penis also can produce some lubrication sometimes, although it is often not adequate for use with a toy or a hand.

WATER IS NOT A LUBE.  Water may seem slippery, but it cannot be used as lube.  It can even wash away natural lube.

Specialty Lubes:

There are a number of different lubes with special features.  Here are a few of the more common ones:

Warming Lube contains a substance that produces a warming sensation for certain people.  (Think like hot sauce, where it feels hot, but isn’t actually hot.)  Some people enjoy this, but for some people, it’s too hot feeling, for others, it has little effect.

Tingling Lube contains a substance that produces cooling/tingling sensation.  (Think along the lines of mint.)  Some people enjoy this, but for some people, it creates an uncomfortable cold burning sensation, for others, it has little effect.

Numbing Lube contains an anesthetic substance that numbs the area it contacts.  This is primarily used with a partner, where one person uses it on some side of a condom to numb their genitals so that sex can last longer.  This feature is of limited use to someone who’s alone.  Sometimes numbing lubes are sold for anal use, but that’s generally not considered a good idea, because certain types of pain can be a sign that activity should be stopped, and a numbing agent will block that pain.

Flavored Lube contains a flavoring agent.  This is primarily designed for oral sex, so this feature is of limited use to someone who’s alone.  (Although, you may enjoy the scent…)

Uses Of Lube:

Lube can be beneficial for use with almost any sex toy, particularly if you go in the toy or the toy goes in you.  Lube is required for using sleeves and for anything that is used anally, or friction burns and discomfort will result, if you’re even able to do anything at all.  Additional lube may be used for vaginal penetration, if you feel that the natural lubrication is not enough.  Lube can also be used when stroking your penis by hand (especially if you’re circumcised) and for clitoral stimulation in general.