[Content Warning: This page discusses a number of masturbation techniques in detail. Anatomy will be referenced where necessary.]
A number of people have expressed interest in trying to masturbate, but have also expressed a desire to avoid touching their genitals directly while doing so. This page explores a number of options. Some of these are a bit more “hands on”, but none of them require direct contact between hands and genitals.
All of these techniques will take practice. You should not expect hours of earth-shattering orgasmic bliss on the first try. If you don’t have an orgasm, that’s not a failure! Try to get somewhere that feels good, and build on that next time. You may never end up having an orgasm with some of these techniques, and that’s okay. Focus on what you are getting from the experience, rather than dwelling on what you’re not. You may not even want to have an orgasm, and that’s fine, too.
In some cases, a lot of the reluctance to try masturbating for vulva owners stems from the common misconception that masturbation requires penetration. If you’re in that camp, you may be relieved to know that it does not! For many people, external clitoral stimulation alone is enough to masturbate and reach orgasm. These tips are all possible without penetration, however a handful of them can be adjusted to include non-contact penetration, if desired.
Bad news, I’m afraid. While many of these techniques are possible on a penis, they can be much more difficult than they are with a clitoris. A lot of penis owners may be able to attain some level of pleasure with most of these techniques, but don’t be disappointed if it does not lead to orgasm.
One of the more common ways to masturbate without genital contact is to simply leave your clothes on (or use some other barrier, like a towel or cloth) and rub or stroke your genitals through the clothing. Experiment with different layers, as too many layers may dull the sensation, while too few may be too close for comfort.
This technique is even used by a lot of people who don’t mind direct genital contact for the simple reason that they may find direct stimulation of the clitoris to be too strong and unpleasant. You can also use a lot of toys this way, especially vibrators, as the clothing helps to dampen the sensation somewhat.
This is one of the more difficult techniques to perform on a penis, because of the limited range of motion and limited area of stimulation. Circular rubbing with some pressure on the frenulum area (A bit just below the head of the penis on the “under” side) may provide some success. Other than that, try a few different techniques on a few different areas and see if anything responds.
Using toys is one of the easiest, most effective, and most common ways to masturbate without touching your genitals. Most toys are designed to take the work away from your hands. You can buy toys from many places online, and most will ship in a plain box with no indication of what’s inside. If you’re nervous about buying an actual sex toy, a lot of easily available massagers can be used to masturbate with. (Plus, you can use them on your sore shoulders if you decide you don’t want to use them downstairs.)
Many vibrators are phallic or cylindrical in shape and are designed for penetration, but you do not need to use them for that purpose if that’s not for you.
Vibrators, although common, are unfortunately not the easiest to use on a penis. It may be possible to get some level of pleasure, but it can be difficult to attain orgasm with one, if that’s your goal. A “stroker” sleeve may be more effective.
Some sleeves are on the small side and may not completely prevent your hand from touching your genitals. Sleeves also require some form of lubricant, which may be a non-starter for some people. The lubricant can be applied to the toy itself.
A potential problem you may encounter while using a sleeve is that it may be difficult to get your penis inside it without guidance. With an adequate erection, you can usually angle things in a way that it will work, but it may take a number of tries to get it right. If you’re not completely averse to touching down there briefly, a quick guiding hand, similar to the contact you might make when urinating, will make the entry process easier.
Grinding is a totally hands free way to masturbate. It involves pressing your genitals against something and moving around in a way that stimulates them. It can be done fully clothed, if you want. Pillows, bunched up blankets or towels, chair or couch arms, and mattresses are some common items used for grinding.
Closely related to grinding, a penis can be placed inside or between things like the blankets and pillows mentioned above, and a hip thrusting action can be used to move it around and cause stimulation. Take particular care to avoid anything that’s rough, sharp, or that you can get stuck in. Also, consider using a condom or something like a sock, or this technique can get messy.
You may also find some success by grinding using the perineal area, rather than the penis itself. The perineum is the zone behind the testicles and in front of the anus. Using something like a rolled up bunch of socks or a tennis ball to provide some pressure on that area can sometimes be pleasurable.
A common no-hands masturbation method is to use flowing water. Positioning your genitals under the flow from a bathtub faucet is one way to do this. Using the spray from a handheld shower head is another way. The shower head allows you to try different angles, different spray styles, and target different areas. With either one, be sure to test the temperature first, as water that’s too hold can be painful and too cold can shut everything down.
Pretty much just aim at the clitoris.
Sensitive areas are different for different people and may change during your session. Some commonly responsive areas are the frenulum area (just below the head on the “under” side), and the testicles/perineum zone.
Gloves are a great way to avoid direct contact with the genitals. When wearing them, your hands are fully covered, yet you are still able to stimulate things freely.
However, this method is very similar to direct hand-to-genital stimulation, so it may be too close for comfort for a lot of people.
This is basically the opposite method from using a glove. Instead of covering your hand, cover your genitals with something like a condom or dental dam.
Similar to using a glove, this method may be too close for comfort for many people.
On the negative side, it can be extremely difficult to put on a condom without touching the penis. With practice, it can be unrolled over an erection without touching directly.
On the plus side, if you’re not a fan of ejaculation, a condom is specifically designed to capture that.
Some people can masturbate by squeezing their thighs together and shaking/bouncing their legs. Wearing tight clothes, like jeans, has been reported to be helpful for this technique.
This technique can be extremely difficult and frustrating to try with a penis, because a penis is not in the right position for this, and it can be very uncomfortable to try to bend an erection between your legs.
Squeezing and tensing your muscles downstairs can work for some people. While a lot of the muscles in that area can be used, the primary one to focus on is called the “PC Muscle”. It’s the muscle you would use to control a flow of urine. Experiment with squeezing and holding this muscle, or squeezing and releasing at various speeds, until you find something that works. It may not be much at first, but the sensations can build, if you’re successful.
There are even exercises called “Kegels” which focus on the PC muscle, often with the goal of having stronger orgasms.
So you’re not a fan of touching your genitals, but how do you feel about other areas of your body? Some other areas may be pleasurable to touch and stimulate, such as the chest, nipples, neck, thighs, hair, lower torso, and feet. Nipples in particular can be a highly sensitive zone, regardless of your body type.
Several of the techniques mentioned above can be used together, so try combining them in different ways and see if that helps. Use a toy while grinding. Touch your nipples while using a shower head. The muscle tensing one can be combined with every other technique.